Author Jackie Bledsoe once said, “Your marriage is the gospel you are preaching to your kids.”

As the gospel transforms your marriage it will inevitably transform the hearts of your children. How you love, serve, and reconcile to each other is a glimpse—a foreshadowing—of how Jesus loves them.

Your actions and heart change speak a thousand times louder than any sermon they’ll hear or understand. And with God’s grace, they will respond by placing their trust in Christ.

There are countless ways that the gospel transforms and bears fruit in marriage. Here are a few.

1. The gospel disarms pride.

In Christ, all are sinners saved by radical grace. This levels the playing field and produces genuine gratitude that says, “how dare I hold their sin against them, when Christ hasn’t held mine against me?” That heart-shift is profound. As your kids see you approach each other with grace and love in order to be reconciled, they get a picture of Christ’s love for his church.

2. The gospel exemplifies unconditional love.

You are saved, not because of anything you’ve done, but because of what Christ has done. There is nothing you can do to earn it, and no sin too powerful to nullify it. Marriage is similar: when two imperfect people spend their lives together, conflict will happen. But the marriage covenant binds you together while the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit continues – -while you both grow. Covenant love always looks for ways forward, never for ways out. As you stick to your covenant and your kids see it, they see a picture of God’s covenantal character.

3. The gospel makes your identity secure.

When you know who you are in Christ, everything changes. Your security is no longer dependent on anything or anyone that can fail. Instead, your peace, hope, joy, and satisfaction are secure for eternity.

Model from a place of humble, secure identity

As your kids witness your security in Christ, it will model for them surprising confidence and selflessness that seems ridiculous but is utterly compelling.

Remember: your marriage is the gospel you are preaching to your children. Their faith doesn’t ultimately depend on you (only God changes hearts), but your marriage can put them face to face with a living, breathing example of the beauty & wonder of the gospel.