Everything good takes time, including molding the character of the next generation. As parents, we must have a long-term view of our roles in our children’s’ lives while also trusting in the long-term fruit of instructing them in God’s way.
Two views compared
It can be helpful to contrast the two views to understand why one approach is more sustainable than the other.
1: In Behavior Correction
Short-view parenting sees behavioral problems as actions to be corrected because they are inconvenient, loud, hurtful, or destructive in the moment.
Long-view parenting sees behavioral problems as symptoms of a larger need for heart-renewal from the inside out. The behavior can then be corrected, but must be traced back to our need for Jesus if we’re to ever find freedom from sin.
2: In Parental Success
Short-view parenting measures parental success by the outward accomplishments of the child.
Long-view parenting understands that outward accomplishments, while worthy of celebration, aren’t more important than having a character and hope shaped by the Word of God.
3: On the Convenience of Children
Short-view parenting sees the tasks of parenting as life-interrupting inconveniences to be minimized, avoided, or quickly dispatched.
Long-view parenting sees the tasks of parenting as a joy (though not always an easy joy) to be embraced as the substance of life itself. While kids are not central to a long-view parent’s identity, stewarding the duties of raising children are purpose-filled endeavors, no matter how inconsequential or insignificant they seem.
4: On the Goals of Growing into Adulthood
Short-view parenting is driven by preparing children for success in the world by the world’s standards. It sees this life as ultimate.
Long-view parenting defines the purpose in raising children as introducing them to God and stirring their affections for Him. It sees eternity as ultimate.
The Gospel fuels long-view parenting
Much can be said on the differences between long- and short-view parenting, but the largest difference is this: Gospel-fueled purpose.
May we be parents who fight for a long-term view of parenting, and may our children come to follow Jesus quickly and gladly as a result.
"The goal of parenting is not control of behavior, but rather heart and life change."
— Dr. Paul David Tripp (read more quotes)
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about the author
Ryan Frederick
Ryan is passionate about helping men treasure Christ most and love their families well. He and his wife, Selena, spend their days writing with one simple mission: to point families to Christ. Together they have three wonderful daughters and live in the Pacific Northwest.
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