This is a short post, but I wanted to encourage you with a profound reminder: our kids learn to love and cherish what we love and cherish. They learn to value what we value. In other words, much of the awe that rules our children’s hearts depends on the awe that rules our own hearts.

Tiny Mirrors

Every parent knows that our children—particularly at young ages—tend to mimic their behavior. “Monkey see, monkey do” as the old saying goes. They truly are tiny mirrors reflecting back to us the best and ugliest parts of ourselves. This is why our primary fight is not for their obedience or compliance to rules or commands. Instead, our primary battle as parents is to live in constant light of the gospel—being enamored daily with the miracle it is to be someone who was once lost, alone, and dead in sin but is now found, loved, and alive in Christ. 

For a long-time Christian, that profound reality can sometimes fade into a distant memory.

The Need for Stirred Affections

During a recent set of marital arguments, Ryan and I spent a great deal of time discussing the correlations between love, desire, and expressed affection. I won’t get into the details (you can listen to those here), but basically our fighting centered around sex and food—in two separate arguments.

As we discovered, he felt a lack of love because, admittedly, I was lacking “expressed affection” toward him. After many words and days we both agreed that it’s necessary to stir our affections for each other regularly and express those affections intentionally in order to cultivate a healthier marriage. Hey, we’re 17 years in and still learning every day!

How does this relate to parenting? The same is true for how we stir our affections for Jesus. At times our affections are right there, visible on the surface for all to see, including our children. At other times, we must “stir the pot” of our hearts in order to remind ourselves of just how much we love him. It is this habit that creates patterns in our walk with God that are consistent enough for our kids to take note… and eventually emulate.

For example…

1. We teach our children to know God’s truth from a place of being in awe of God… ourselves.
2. We train our children to walk in Jesus’ way from a place of being in awe of all he’s done…for ourselves.
3. And we pray and entrust our children into God’s care from a place of being children who have already experienced firsthand his loving kindness.

Raising kids puts us face to face with many daily battles. It starts with bedtimes and eating, and evolves into attitudes and boundaries and struggles for independence…. to name a few.

May we remember in the midst of every smaller battle that our biggest battle is not just to win their behavior, but to see Christ himself win their hearts.