“The goal of parenting isn’t to create perfect kids. It is to point our kids to the perfect God.” I read that quote from Lindsey Bell and sighed a breath of relief. I had just been facing another tough day as a mom—feeling dejected, tired, and inadequate. This sweet reminder couldn’t have come at a better time. Not only is it not my job to create perfect little children… it’s also not my job to be a perfect parent. There is but one perfect person… and, spoiler alert, that person’s name isn’t Selena Frederick.

My job as their mother isn’t to perfectly parent my kids into perfect little image-bearers of Christ. Am I called to shepherd their hearts and instruct them in God’s ways? Absolutely. Will I do so perfectly? Rarely, if ever.

Let’s read that quote again:

That single truth forever changes how you view your role as a parent. Your job is not to create, mold, craft, or chisel your kids into perfect little human beings. Such a task is not only impossible, but it’s also unbiblical! As a parent, your primary charge is to train them up in God’s way… that’s it.

Yes, but…

Of course, we must train our kids to be people of strong character and conviction. And yes, we must equip them to live in the world and time when God has placed them. And yes, we must nurture and care for our children’s emotional and intellectual needs. But our call doesn’t stop there, and though each of those duties is immensely important, your call is even higher.

Be encouraged! Your primary goal as a parent is not to make your kids perfect, but to point them to the One who is! This reality changes the entire nature of our task. It brings our relationship with God front and center.

The path well travelled

How can we show them God if we don’t know Him ourselves? How can we discipline them with love and consistency if we aren’t allowing our hearts to be corrected by our King? And how can we give them love, grace, and mercy, if we don’t know what’s it’s like to receive them? We can’t.

The primary challenge in parenting today isn’t learning or knowing the right things to do and say. The primary challenge is to spend our lives undistracted from that which matters most, and that starts by knowing, experiencing, and loving the living God of the Bible.